I hate graduation season

Graduations make me cry and not because it's the beginning of the beginning of the rest of your life... because that's a crock. I think I'm just sad b/c my own pitiful beginning has yet to begun. I had a wonderful graduation almost a year ago to date but now looking back I realized I don't think I would have cared to graduate... I really went to school for other people more than I did for myself. I went b/c it was expected of me and well I guess I thought I should do it to have something to fall back on. I am a post grad from CSULB and i'm doing absolutely nothing and I hate it. I feel like such a smuck trying to encourage others to go to school to develop their talents and interests and I still can't get a handle on mine... damn hypocrite that I am... Yeah graduations are freakin great.

Sea of angled black tops
Ebony waves crashing
Blades of grass adorned in ribbons of color
Amidst the crowd
A single tear from her face
White canvas illuminates the Alma matter
Leather soles tapping on the tarp in anticipation
With each name called
Hesitation is broken
Exuberant strides to the stage
Burst of racuous cheers ignite
And still two are quiet
One facing her peers overhwelmed with joy
She looks into the stands
Glaring sun peering back
Thank you she mouths
The other watching her daughter
Gripping tighter as stems bends in her arms
Each rose fading fast into the wind

So this is work in progress.. as I write this while talking to Adam I'm still sad about the otherwise would be celebratory event of the summer... but this does not mean I won't party it up with those who are graduating.
Adios